Futurama Porn Story: Anthology of Intrest 3 – Chapter 1

Anthology of Interest 3

–Professor Farnsworth is sitting at his desk looking at his “what if
machine”-

Farnsworth
(Yells) I’ve finally created it!

Leela
[Comes out of the door]
What?

Zoidberg
[Pops out of the garbage, he has a banana peel half way in his mouth]
Who has disturbed my eating?

Amy
[Teleports in]
Here

Hermes
[Appears on a TV next to them]
What is it man?

Bender
[His head rolls in]
What now?

Fry
[Fry comes in on top of Bender’s body]
Giddy up!

Scruffy
[Appears out of nowhere]
Scruffy’s here

Farnsworth
[Looks at Scruffy]
Who are you?

Scruffy
I is Scruffy

Farnsworth
You’re fired!
[Scruffy sighs]

–Theme Song-

–Hermes is now there, everyone is surrounding the Professor. Bender has
his head back, and Scruffy is still there-

Farnsworth
Gather around everyone

Leela
[Looks around]
Um, Professor everyone is gathering around you

Farnsworth
[Nods]
Oh yes! I have good news everyone

Bender
That is what you said about Fry getting a raise
[Fry makes a “cha-ching” noise]

Farnsworth
Bah! I have created the “what if” machine!

Fry
But you already did

Farnsworth
That’s right fired!

Fry
[Pouts]
What if I don’t want to get fired?
[All of a sudden the “what if” machine starts doing static, the Professor
hits it as a screen appears]

–The screen shows the same exact scene that just happened-

Farnsworth
Bah! I have created the “what if” machine!

Fry
But your already did

Farnsworth
That’s right fired!

Fry
[Out of no where Fry goes taller and angry]
No!

Zoidberg
[Everyone gasps except him]
What? It is a free country; he can do what he wants

Amy
[Corrects him]
No, they changed that in 2875

Zoidberg
[Pouts]
Zoidberg! Your wrongs again, sigh

Leela
[Looks at the Professor]
What are you going to do about that Professor?

Farnsworth
[Looks like has an idea]
Nap!
[Immediately is sound asleep]

Fry
Ha! Now Fry is the boss of Planet Express

Scruffy
[Is happy]
Is Scruffy back on board?

Fry
[Laughs]
No!

Scruffy
Well Scruffy better go to a new job as a salesman
[Is at the door]
Well Scruffy says bye everyone

Bender
[Everyone groans]
Just leave!
[Sighing Scruffy leaves, Bender looks at Fry]
Hey Fry, do I get a raise?

Fry
No!

Amy
[Walks, seductively, towards Fry]
Hey Fry can I have sex with you to get a raise, to buy jewelry?

Fry
Yes!

Zoidberg
[Walks, seductively, towards Fry]
Fryyyyy, may I have sex with you to get a raise, to buy a new claw?
[Pets his right claw]

Fry
No!

Hermes
[Eyes open wide]
Are you crazy man? It’s Zoidberg!
[Everyone nods in agreement]

Fry
[Shrugs]
What the hell!
[Points at Amy]

You and me – tonight
[Points at Zoidberg]
You and me – right now in the kitchen, Frisbee!
[They both run off]

Bender
[Makes a fist]
Why I oughta wack that F-y

Leela
I agree, I don’t think Fry should be the boss at all

Bender
[Glares at Leela]
I said I oughta wack that Fly
[Goes chasing after a random flying fly]

Hermes
Your right, woman, that Fry must be stopped

Amy
I’m fine with him; I actually think he is doing quite well

Leela
[Groans]
That is because you’re having sex and getting a raise at the same time

Amy
You’re just jealous

Leela
No I-

Amy
-Yes you are

Leela
Yes, yes I am
[Shakes her head]

Fry
[Walks out wearing a bathrobe, Zoidberg is in his crab-like walk]
W-well that was weird

Hermes
Fry your fired!

Fry
You can’t fire me because I quit!
[Jumps out of the window, you hearing a cat scream, glass break, people
yelling, a car screeching to a halt, and other stuff below]

Zoidberg
[Jumps up and claps both claws twice]
Hermes the hero, yay! Let’s put him on a cereal box
[Everyone nods in agreement]

–It changes to a black screen, and then different magazine covers pop up.
Hermes is on every cover, Olympic-like music is playing in the background.
Then a cereal box pop ups with Hermes on the cover, and then the screen
goes static. The camera zooms out on the first scene; Fry looks disgusted
everyone is staring at Hermes-

Hermes
Holy baJesus, that was amazing
[Fry mumbles something in an annoyed tone]
What was that Fry?

Fry
[Yells at Hermes]
I said I was hungry!
[Keeps on mumbling through out the scene]

Farnsworth
Well that was boring!

Leela
[Nods]
Yea, you just slept

Farnsworth
[Snaps back at Leela]
No, you crazy mutant! We didn’t get to see Fry and Dr. Zoidberg get it on,
Dammit!

Zoidberg
I wanted to see that too
[Jumps up and down]
What if.I knew how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie
Pop?

Amy
[The screen goes static after Farnsworth keeps on hitting it]
The world may never know

–Cut to Commercial–