Futurama Pornography Story: No more secrets Chapter 1

Futurama Pornography Story: No more secrets Chapter 1

This is a Fry + Leela heavy fanfic and it plays out after all the episodes
that has been aired so far (I.e. last one is “where no fan has gone
before”). Amy doesn’t even make an appearance in this part so Amy lovers
shouldn’t get their hopes up.

By Lennie Asserholt

Short abbreviation list

PO = Pissed Off

VO = Voice over

PE = Planet Express

OS = Off Screen

CUT TO = eh.. cut the film and begin film in the new location? Just like in
the movies, right?


I dont even pretend to own the characters in this fic, they probably are
the property of the FOX network, Matt Groening, David X Cohen and the
Curiosity company (some or all or them). The star trek: voyager characters
are copyrighted by their respected owner(s) too (who that is I have no
idea). I am in no way affiliated with them, and I’m definitely not making
money on this. So, dont even try buster! You got absolutely jack shit,
zero, nothing, nada, zilch on me, so there!

…oh, and If you DO actually have something on me: Im sorry… please
dont sue me…. friends? ;)

Oh and another thing…

Anyone who feels like it may rip me off completely and steal this doc and
publish it wherever they please on the single condition that they give me
credit and do not steal it in part but the whole thing. This is called
copyright I hear (or was it terms of distribution?)…uh whatever, you
know the drill.

Now, on with the show

No more secrets, Part 1

Opening credits and theme, caption: Please insert coin

CUT TO: PE ship closing in on the PE building and landing. The ship looks
really beat up.

Around 12:00


Fry, Bender and Leela are walking down the stairs from the ship, Leela is
looking really pissed.

Leela: I dont care WHAT excuse you have this time Fry, filling in for
Bender in his drinking contest with the autopilot must be one of the 10
most irresponsible things you’ve ever done so far.

Fry: Aw, lighten up Leela. I didnt know we actually needed him to drive
the ship. You always do that.

Leela: But YOU were supposed to be driving! This is the LAST time I will
ever let you drive again!

Fry: *groan* Aww, man.

Bender: Heh, heh. Don’t worry skintube, ‘ol Bender with make ya feel better
once you taste the lunch I’ve been planning for ya later.

Fry: *double groan*

The crew approaches the conference room and the professor approaches them.

Prof: Good news everyone!

Bender: Oh crud.

Prof: Tomorrow you will make a delivery of medical supplies to
Catastrophicon 5.

Leela: Why not today? Its only 12:15.

Prof: Because today the Nimbus is conducting a carpet bombing of the planet
in order to completely destroy its civilian infrastructure.

Leela(concerned): Then we should definitely go right away!

Prof: Oh my yes, but if we wait until tomorrow we can get double the normal
price for the supplies.

Leela: *groan*

Prof: Incidentally, I also want you to be alive to observe my latest

The professor then proceeds to stare blankly into space.


Leela: Uh, professor?

Prof: Wha..?

Leela: The invention?

Prof: I didnt say anything about an invention. Now, gather the others and
come to the laboratory.

CUT TO: Inside the PE building, The Professors laboratory.

Bender, Leela, Fry, Hermes and Zoidberg have gathered around the professor.

Prof: I call this invention the “thought translocation pill”!

Fry: What does it do?

Prof: I’m glad you asked that question Fry. You see, over a year ago I
designed an “empathy chip” for use in robots to allow them to feel human

Bender (thinking about the events in “I second that emotion”): *shrug*

Fry: Wait, you mean this pill will allow you to talk to other people

Prof: Oh my no, thats just old fantasy mumbo jumbo. Actually, the pill
contains a small positronic transmitter that when consumed will travel up
the bloodstream , connect to the throughtcenter of the brain and instantly
synchronize its signal with its closest counterpart.

Fry scratches his head.

Leela: And its completely safe?

Prof: Well of course! Aside from periodic seizures and agonizing pain
during the connection process, its completely harmless!

Prof: Now, it seems I’ll need someone to test it on.

Everyone shrugs and falls back a few feet, except Zoidberg.

Zoidberg: A chance to have my systems infested with an agonizing parasite?
I’m interested!

The professor shakes his head slowly

Prof: I’m sorry Zoidberg, but the recipient must be at least 50% percent
human or robotic for the pill to work. You simply arent frail enough.

Zoidberg: *sigh* awww.

Prof: Incidentally, I do believe I still have some of my old Ebola mutagen
from last years hunting season.

Zoidberg: I could try some of it maybe?

Prof: Oh, I guess so.

Zoidberg: Hooray! I’m useful!

The professor leaves with Zoidberg and the others take the opportunity to
escape, except Bender.

Bender (silently to himself): No way I’m gonna fall for that trick again. I
better dump this stuff in the sewers or something.

He stuffs the glass jar with the pills as well as most everything else of
value on the lab table in his chest compartment, then wanders off

CUT TO: Inside the PE building, TV-room. A few minutes later.

Bender has parked himself on the couch and is watching the news when Fry
and Leela walks by.

Linda: In other news, recent reports indicate that an obvious plot is
brewing in the city of New New York and critics everywhere are assembling
to strike it down before further elements arise. Shocking, dont you think
so Morbo?

Morbo: Obvious plots are worth no more than vermin in the eyes of Morbo.

Linda: *chuckle*

Bender: Screw this. Hey guys, dont forget about the lunch I promised ya.

Fry: Oh, that….ahh…

Leela: Its just that…..well…

Bender: Awww, you’re lost for words. You just cant wait any longer can

Fry/Leela: Um…

Bender (gets up): Well. Theres no resting for this robot when his admiring
audience awaits him with such anticipation and joy. Come on, I’ll whip you
up a meal you’ll never forget! (mimics Elzar) BAM! heh, heh.

Fry/Leela: *groan*

CUT TO: inside PE ship parked in hangar, ship mess

Fry and Leela are sitting at the long table giving each other worried
looks. Bender is in the galley singing to himself.

Leela: Oh, I really hope he uses more of that essence of flavour this time.
I could actually feel the aftertaste of the dishwater for five solid hours
after last weeks lunch.

Fry: Yeah, but you have to admit there were really pretty colors…

Bender (looking out through the doorway): Not much more waiting now, I’m
polishing up the final details.

Fry/Leela (with obvious fake enthusiasm): Great….great…

Inside the ships galley, Bender is making his creations. We see various
pots with grey and greenish substances in them, a greasy frying pan with a
couple of rats frying in their own juices (ugh, you get the picture), but
there is also an unbaked pie that looks almost edible with only a few bones
poking out from it.

Bender: Ah yes. Bender, you’ve outdone yourself once again. Now, to make
the drinks.

He pulls out the mop from its bucket on the floor and is about to squeeze
its contents into two glasses (like in “30% iron chef”) when he
accidentally hits the upper cabinet with the shaft. The vibrations causes a
large stewing pot to fall squarely on his head with a *BONG*, he falls to
the floor and a slight crashing sound can be heard from his chest

The others are alerted by the sudden noise.

Leela: What was that? We better check to see if he’s alright. (She gets up)

Bender (OS): Dont worry, sit down again, I’m just having a minor
disagreement with the inventory.

Leela: You sure? ‘Cause we can skip this just this once if you’re having

Bender (OS): NO! Dont move! I’ll be out in a sec.

Leela (disappointed): Well…ok….(she reluctantly sits down again)

Inside the galley, Bender gets up and swears loudly to himself

Bender: Stupid pot! I’ve got half a mind to turn you into a hood ornament
if it wasnt for the fact that I dont have a car and my loving audience is
awaiting me. Now, for the final stage.

Bender takes the pie and stuffs it in his chest compartment while turning
its heat up to 200 degrees.

Bender: *Whistle*

Inside the compartment the pie begins to get warm in preparation for it to
solidify but an unknown (to them ;) ) ingredient slips into the dough.

A few minutes later we hear a *ping* and the pie is ready.

Bender: Ah, yes. Nothing like desert. Hmm, maybe it needs something more…
(glances at the mop).

A minute later….

Bender emerges from the ships galley and begins to serve his friends

Bender: Friends, I’ve made meals today that Elzar could only dream of..

Frys and Leela’s minds: yeah, a nightmare.

Bender: … so I want both of your honest opinions on each dish.

Fry (eyes the “food”): Well… ah.. I’d like to start out with an
appetizer. Which one has the “essence of flavour” in it?

Bender: I decided to skip that part since I’m such a wonderful cook. True
masters of cooking do not need flavour.

Fry and Leela looks at each other with slight expressions of panic.

Fry: I…see… well. This pie doesnt look that ba-I mean doesnt seem to
want to wait until last.

Leela: Yeah, the pie looks….nice…

Both deciding that the pie looks to be the single edible thing on the
table, they both cut themselves a slice and take a bite.

Both Fry and Leela have to concentrate to the maximum so as not to
immediately throw up.

Bender: So? Whaddaya think?

Fry (his face turning into a shade of green): Its.. very… interesting.

Leela: (her face is turning somewhat yellow):

Bender (happy): It is isnt it? I thought I’d try something new this time
so I cut the live hamster into inch-wide slices and added just a touch of
sheep entrails….

(screen fades away with the images of Fry and Leela holding their hands as
to stop themselves from throwing up)

CUT TO: Robot arms apartments, later that night

Fry is lying in his bed, thinking about the day.

Frys mind: Ugh, why wont this horrible aftertaste just go away!? *sigh* I
wish that Bender didnt like cooking at all.

Frys mind: And to top it all off, Leela didnt even want me to take her to
a real dinner afterwards. Oh well, like thats something new…ahh, I wish
she would go out with me….even if just once.

Frys mind: *sigh* This is depressing, I need a slurm.

Fry gets up and walks towards the fridge when he suddenly freezes in
midstep! He falls to the floor, clutching his head with his hands, his face
showing an expression of extreme pain!

Fry: AAARRRGGGGHHHH! Wha– Whats happening!? I’m…I’m…. AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

He then faints right there on the floor from the onslaught of the agony.

Bender (OS): Keep it down willya!?

CUT TO: Leelas apartment 1I, at the exact same time.

Leela is also lying in her bed, thinking about the day.

Leelas mind: Damn that Bender! How could he even THINK about becoming a
cook in the first place? I swear, if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s Frys
best friend I would NEVER put up with this.

Leelas mind: Oh Fry. He even offered to make up for the whole lunch thing
by taking me to a real dinner afterwards. He’s so sweet, why did I decline
that anyway?

Leelas mind: Because he’s an immature slob, thats why!

Leelas mind: Yeah… but he really does seem to care for me. The others
I’ve dated would’ve just wanted me to follow them to their apartment for
“coffee”, but not Fry.

Leelas mind: You can bet your one-eyed carcass he wants to!

Leelas mind: Well… I guess… but still….

Leelas mental debate goes to a screeching halt as a sudden burst of
extreme pain washes over her!

Leela (face expressing total agony) : ARGH! What the!? oooOOOH my GOD the
PAIN! Whats happening!?

Being used to pain allowed her to stay conscious longer than Fry but this
only served to lengthen her suffering until the point where she too
surrendered to it and faints.

Darkness, blackness, void. Call it what you will. After what seems to be an
eternity to Fry and Leela they find themselves lying on the ground. Fry
cautiously opens his eyes to find himself in a fenced-in compound. He
slowly gets up into a sitting position. He looks around and finds Leela
lying on the ground next to him. He tries to wake her up.

Fry: Leela! Wake up! Something weird is happening.

Leela (groggily): Wha-..? Huh?

She too gets up into a sitting position.

Leela: Fry! Whats happening? Where are—oh my god…..

Leela looks around the compound, she seems more and more agitated.

Fry: Whats wrong Leela?

Leela: Fry. This is the orphanarium I grew up in, don’t you recognize it?

Fry: Hey… now that you mention it… this DOES look familiar.

They both get up on their feet, and begin to look around.

Fry: Hey look over there! Didnt you tell us about something similar once
from your past?

They both spot a number of kids surrounding somebody

Fry: Lets take a closer look!

Leela (recognizing the event): Fry, I dont think we should…

Fry walks up to the kids and suddenly gasps!

The kids are teasing a small girl with purple hair and only one eye, Fry
suddenly realizes that this is in fact Leela herself, but as a child.

Kids: One-eye, One-eye, One-eye, One-eye, One-eye.

Child Leela: *cries*

The real Leela walks up to the gathering, tears are forming in her eye.

Leela: I…I never wanted anyone to ever see this Fry.

Fry: Leela….I…

Leela suddenly tries to pull the other kids away but find that she simply
cannot touch them. Her hands just flow right through.

Fry: Oh wow, cool effect….(Leela turns her angry, tear shot face towards
Fry) uh….sorry….I didnt mean that…

Leela (turning once more towards the child version of herself): I’m– I’m
so sorry….I wasnt.. strong enough.

Leela (looks up to the sky and screams): WHYYYYYY!? I DONT WANT TO

Suddenly as Leela spoke those words, the world around them seemed to
flicker a bit. As Leela sobs with her hands covering her face, the world
seems to flicker even more. Then suddenly, all turns into darkness.

Fry finds himself standing in absolute darkness, the only visible things
seems to be himself and the sobbing Leela which looks up after a while to
notice that everything is gone. She then gets up and turns to Fry.

Leela: What happened?

Fry: You know, shockingly as this might sound. I have no idea.

Leela: *groan*

Fry: I know! Maybe this is a Vulcan mind meld or something?

Leela: Fry, vulcans doesnt exist. Thats just science fiction.

Fry: Oh…yeah, but still….

As he is about finish his sentence, the darkness around them flickers once
more. The endless abyss is replaced by…..the inside of the Star Trek “USS

Fry and Leela cannot believe their eyes, they are standing in one of
Voyagers many corridors watching as various crewmen walk past them,
oblivious to their presence.

Fry: Hey! I remember this episode! This is where an alien entity possesses
the minds of the key characters on board! Janeway and Tuvok should be
appearing in this hallway right about now…

As on cue, Janeway, Tuvok and Kes are walking down the hallway up to the
turbo lift nearby.

Tuvok: Kes seems to be able to localize this alien entity, I propose that
she and I undergo a mind meld so that we may find out more about it.

Janeway looks at Kes for confirmation

Kes nods in agreement

Janeway: Very well, do it!

Tuvok nods and he and Kes enter the turbo lift with its doors shutting
behind them.

Fry: Yeah, thats right… although I cant seem to remember the rest of
this particular episode…maybe it was the 4 week old pizza playing tricks
on me.

As Fry spoke these words, the world around them flickers again and goes
back into the total darkness of before. Leela looks at Fry.

Leela: Hmm. Hey.. I think I’ve figured out whats going on here.

Fry: Really?

Leela: What we just saw was one of your memories, and the scene with the
orphanarium was one of mine. We must be dreaming.

Fry (enthusiastic): Oh! Yeah, thats probably it!

Leela: Then all we have to do is wake up to end this right now!

Fry: Woohoo! Eh… but how?

Leela: Well, there is an old method I’ve heard legends about.

Fry: What?

Leela walks up and pinches Fry HARD.


Frys figure suddenly begins to flicker and an instant later, he is gone.

Leela: YES! It worked. (devious smile) …weakling.

She pinches herself

Leela: Yeouch!

The Image of Leela also begins to flicker and then disappear.

CUT TO: Robot arms apartments, early morning.

Fry awakes to find himself on the floor dressed only in his lightspeed

Fry (silently to himself): Man, that was some weird dream. I dont think
I’ve ever dreamt anything like that before

He gets up and notices that Bender is sitting in the couch, watching TV.

Bender: Hey, meatbag. Finally up eh?

Fry: Ugh, yeah. I had the weirdest dream.

Bender: Keep it to yerself skintube. The fifth rerun of this episode of”All
my circuits” is on, an’ I wouldn’t miss it for anything.

Fry: Whatever…

Fry pulls on his jeans and tries to find the rest of his clothes, after a
thorough dig he claims his shirt and jacket and puts them on. Bender looks
really occupied so he decides to take a walk so as to come to grips with
his strange dream.

Fry exits the building as strolls down the street trying to remember the
strange dream.

Fry: Darkness and Leelas orphanarium? Why would I even KNOW what it looks
like. Sure I’ve seen some photos but still with such detail?

He walks by a suicide booth and stops to look at it for a moment.

Frys mind: Man, I bet the child Leela would’ve been tempted to use one of

Leela mind: Yeah, but suicide never helped solve anything.

Fry looks around with a confused expression on his face.

Fry: What? Leela? Are you there?

Not a sound is heard save for the leaves blowing around the corner.

Fry (Scratching his head): Hmm, I thought I heard Leelas voice…oh man…
that dream is really coming onto me…

Fry continues to walk down the street.

CUT TO: Leelas apartment 1I, same time

Leela awakens to find her bed is all soaked in sweat.

Leela (to herself): Urgh, that was to worst sleep I’ve had in years. And
what a weird dream.

She gets up, takes the bed sheets and tosses them in the laundry basket.

Leela (looks in the mirror) : Oh, look at yourself Toranga Leela, you’re a

She takes off her nightie and goes into the shower, mumbling to herself.

Leela (mumbling): It must be that stupid robots “food” that caused this.
*sigh* if only Bender would simply give it up and go for folksinging again,
I wouldn’t have to be in such a miserable condition.

Leela (silently to herself): But what about that dream… I saw Fry and he
went with me to the orphanarium…and we both saw…me….. Oh, god I hated
myself back then…

An image of a suicide booth flashed in her head.

Frys mind: Man, I bet the child Leela would’ve been tempted to use one of

Leela mind: Yeah, but suicide never helped solve anything.

She suddenly stops showering as she realizes what just happened. She looks
around the shower curtain.

Leela: Fry? Are you there?

No answer.

Leela: Hmmm….

CUT TO: Outside the PE building, an hour later.

Fry is sitting on a nearby bench, waiting for Hermes to arrive and unlock
when Leela arrives.

Leela: Oh! Hi Fry. What are you doing here so early?

Fry: I couldnt sleep, figured Id go for a walk to clear my head.

Leela: I see.

Leelas mind: Cant clear something thats already empty….

Fry: Hey, that was uncalled for!

Frys mind: Tightwad…

Leela: Hey!?

They suddenly stop and stare at each other like they had just seen their
own ghost.

Frys/Leelas minds (in unison): He/she could hear me!?

More staring.

Leela then breaks the awkward silence.

Leela (slowly): Did you just….say something?

Fry is dumb folded, he just keeps staring at Leela.

Frys mind: I…think so….

Leela (surprised): I could hear that!

They then resume to the silent staring at each other when Hermes walks by

Hermes: Hello Leela, Fry!

They dont even move an inch.

Hermes looks puzzled. He approaches them.

Hermes: Is dere something wrong?

The two just continue their stare-athon.

Hermes scratches his head a little.

Hermes: Well, anyway. When you kids finish with…whateva it is your doin,
report to the conference room.

He then walks away into the PE building with a puzzled look on his face,
leaving them alone again.

Fry is the first to break this period of silence…sorta.

Frys mind: Leela?

Leelas mind: Yes?

Frys mind: You can hear my thoughts!? COOL!

Leelas mind: You actually think this is cool!?

Frys mind: Well, yeah. Why not? Its not like this happens everyday.

Leela (snapping out of it): Thats not the point you dummy! We cant go on
like this!

Fry just smiles

Frys mind: Why not?

Leela: I cant live peacefully knowing that YOU, of all people, are
rummaging around in my head!

Frys mind: Aww, relax Leela. You can rummage around in my head too yknow.

Leela(upset): Thats not the point! You may not have memories worth keeping
to yourself but I DO!

Leela then suddenly realize that a whole group of people have gathered
around the strange alien talking to a smiling young man which doesnt seem
to talk back.

Leela (embarrassed): Oh, heh, heh. We are just….um…yknow…hes…

Frys mind: Waiting for a blowjob.

Leela: ..waiting for a blo-(Leelas face turns red with embarrassment).

Fry just sits there giggling when Leela gives him a look that could
probably drill a hole through solid rock.

Leela: *cough* EXCUSE us…

Leela grabs Frys arm (hard) and pulls him with her through the PE building
entrance, but Fry cannot hold himself anymore. His laughter can faintly be
heard through the double-doors even after Leela dragged him inside.

CUT TO: Inside PE building, TV room.

Leela is dragging the laughing Fry after her like a piece of laundry,
looking really pissed. She releases him next to the couch.

Leela(PO): I cant BELIEVE you did that to me!

Fry slowly stops laughing.

Fry(smiling): Hee, hee. That was the most fun Ive had in months!

Leela: Well thats tough, because Im gonna try and get the doctor to stop

Fry (serious): What do you think might have caused this Leela? Benders

Leela: Either that or something IN it….like….oh my god…

Fry: What? You dont think it was the dirty mop water do ya?

Leela: The professors new invention!

Fry: Which?

Leela: The thought translocation pill of course!

Fry: What about it?

Leela: *groan* Just follow me.

Frys mind: Yes maam.

Leelas mind: Shut up Fry.

CUT TO: The professors laboratory.

Leela and Fry walk into the laboratory and find the professor standing over
his lab table looking for something.

Leela: Professor, what are you looking for?

Prof: Oooh, I just KNOW I put it here somewhere…

Leela: Professor!?

Prof: Wha-?

Leela: What are you looking for?

Prof: My jar of thought translocation pills. It seems I have misplaced it
somewhere but I simply cannot find it.

Fry: Maybe thats why you cant find it?

Prof: What?

Fry: The jar, because you have misplaced it.

Prof: I havent misplaced anything. Who said I had?

Prof: Now, you two must prepare the ship for the delivery later today so
off you go.

Fry and Leela walks out of the laboratory, hearing the words …where DID
I put it?… as they leave.

Leela: Well, its obvious that someone mustve taken it and then somehow
put some of the pills in Benders food.

Frys and Leelas minds: Food, yeah right.

Fry: So, now what?

Leela: I dont know. I guess we could always ask Bender if it was he that
took em.

Fry: Bender!? Nah, he wouldnt even touch these things after the emotional
thingy with you and Nibbler.

Leela: Actually, he may have thought that he had to get rid of them just to
be safe.

Fry: Maybe, but I think an undercover spy for the government took it!

Leela: Fry! You are being even more irrational than usual.

CUT TO: Conference room, some time later.

Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes and the professor are sitting around the table.
Zoidberg is nowhere to be seen.

Hermes: Ok people. Dis is the destination for todays delivery (He presses
a small button on his console).

A holoimage of a barren planet appears over the table.

Prof: Catastrophicon 5, once a lush paradise inhabited by the pacifists of
Eden. Now, its merely a godforsaken rock where the few living scavenge
their dead for money to buy food and medicine.

Leela: Thats horrible! What happened to it?

Prof: Alas, I dont know. Now, it seems that the DOOP carpet bombing
yesterday has left a few thousand survivors and these are in desperate need
of medical supplies, which is why you are delivering these three crates of
band-aid (he point to 3 very LARGE crates next to the ship in the hangar)
to co-ordinates that you will receive on arrival. I have arranged for twice
the normal fee for this mission as it is very dangerous and probably life

Bender (silently): As always….

Fry: Why is it life threatening?

Prof: Im glad you asked that question Fry. You see the DOOP has been
testing some of my new weapon creations this year and this time my
stuperfaction mutagenic toxigen was next on the list.

Prof: Now, I know that you may be worried that you may sustain some
injuries this time, so Ive arranged for Dr Zoidberg to come with you
should you need him.

The professor then takes out a small remote and presses one of the buttons.
A wall instantly opens up to show an aquarium with a strange green liquid
inside instead of water. A small airlock door in the aquarium suddenly
opens and out steps Zoidberg. He has changed color from red to green and
has tiny tufts of seaweed growing here and there on him.

Zoidberg: Hooray! Im going on a mission with friends! Im having a
wonderful time!

All except the professor just stares at him.

Zoidberg (makes a pose and clicks his claws): Like my new look? Imagine,
Im furthering the knowledge of science AND becoming fashionable at the
same time!

Leela: Uh, professor. I dont believe we will need Zoidberg for just one
life-threatening, suicidal mission.

Prof: Are you sure?

Leela: Yes.. ugh… quite.

Prof: Very well then. You can return to the tank Zoidberg.

Zoidberg: Awww.

As soon as the doctor returned to the tank the professor presses the button
on his remote again and the wall slid back into position.

Hermes: Ok den, les get to work people.

CUT TO: Outside the PE building.

The roof doors are opening and the PE ship takes off into the atmosphere. A
moment later another ship, but completely black, flies by the screen.

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Leela is sitting in the pilot seat, Fry is sitting on the couch with his
feet on the console and Bender is reading some magazine that says
MechaBosums on the front.

Fry silently looks out at the stars as they fly by.

Frys mind: They are so beautiful, even after seeing them so many times I
never seem to get tired of them.

Leela glances at Fry from her seat.

Leelas mind: Oh, Fry. If only…

Frys mind (responding): What?

Leelas mind: Huh? Oh…nothing…

Frys mind (disappointed): Ah…I see…

Bender suddenly looks up from his magazine.

Bender: Hey, meatbags! Why are you staring at each other like that?

Fry and Leela turn to look at Bender for a moment, as they realize it
mustve looked strange.

Frys mind: He doesnt know that we can talk like this.

Leelas mind: Hmm, and I think itll be best if we didnt tell him.

Frys mind: Then what shall I say to him?

Leelas mind: Tell him you were just thinking about something. After all,
that is the truth. (mental smile)

Frys mind: Ok.

Fry: Wha-? Oh, its nothing Bender… I was just thinking about something.

Bender: You humans are all so weird, not like good ol Bender right here,
no sirre.

Bender takes up the magazine and starts reading again.

Frys mind: Heey, whaddaya know. It worked.

Leelas mind: We really shouldnt be talking this way Fry, people could get

Frys mind: I guess, but you have to admit its very convenient.

Leelas mind (slight sarcasm): That would kinda depend on who you have to
talk to all the time.

Frys mind (feels hurt by the comment):….

Leelas mind: I…I actually felt that…

Bender looks up from his magazine again.

Bender: What the? What IS it with you two? Your constant staring makes it
impossible for a robot to get some reading done! Im outta here.

With that said, Bender leaves the bridge for the cargo bay (mumbles
something about peace and quiet). Fry and Leela watch him leave.

Leelas mind: Well, we dont have to do this anymore now that Bender left

Frys mind: Thats right! We can talk like normal people again.

Some time passes.

Frys mind: So, how come we dont?

CUT TO: Inside the mysterious black ship, a dark office.

Four shadowy figures are standing in front of a desk with several weird
looking devices on it. Only the vague outlines of the people in the room
can be seen.

Shadowy authority type guy (standing behind the desk OS): Are you sure this
is the one number 1?

Shadowy underling type guy 1: Yes sir. We are absolutely positive.

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Very well then, maintain current pursuit
course at present distance.

Shadowy underling type guy 2: I will inform the crew sir.

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Proceed.

Shadowy underling type guy 2 (turning towards the others): Number 1, 3 and
4. Maintain current pursuit course at present distance.

Shadowy underling type guy 1, 3 and 4: Yes sir! (number 1, 3 and 4 walk out
followed by number 2)

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Number 2!

Shadowy underling type guy 2 (stops and turns in the doorway): Yes sir?

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Would you be so kind as to turn on the
lights next time?

Shadowy underling type guy 2 (flicks the light switch, the room becomes
illuminated): Sorry sir. (he leaves)

Not-so-shadowy-anymore authority type guy (OS): Good grief…

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Leela estimated that the trip to Catastrophicon 5 would take at least 9
more hours so Fry decided to get some sleep in his cabin. Leela is left
alone on the bridge.

Leelas mind: Benders in the cargo bay, Fry is asleep in his cabin. Im
all alone….*sigh*

Frys mind: Not as alone as you might think, Leela.

Leelas mind: Right. I guess as long as these things are still working we
will always be together….in a sort of way.

Frys mind: Too bad it wasnt the sort of way I wanted…..oops.

Leelas mind: *sigh* You just never give up, do you Fry?

Frys mind: Look Leela, Ive told you several times before that I love you,
Ive challenged globetrotters for you, Ive defeated worms for you, Ive
exposed a shapeshifter for you…..Ive even almost died for you. What more
could I possibly do? What in this entire universe could I accomplish to
make you love me?

Leelas mind: I…there is… nothing more you can do.

Frys mind (sad): Oh…

Leelas mind: Since…I…..

Frys mind: What?

Leelas mind: I…. (suddenly the ship shakes as a loud *BONK* sound is
heard) Oh, crap. A meteor storm, I gotta concentrate on flying this thing.

Frys mind (sad): ……..I see…..

A tear begins to form in Leelas eye as she painfully keeps her mind as
blank as possible.

Leela: Im sorry Fry….I just….cant…

Twenty minutes later the meteor storm had ended, Leela tried to mentally
contact Fry again but he had already fallen asleep.

CUT TO: Space

The Nimbus is in orbit around Catastrophicon 5, The planets color appears
to be turning into a brownish hue.

CUT TO: Inside the Nimbus, bridge.

Zapp walks onto the bridge where Kif is awaiting him.

Kif: Captain, we received a confirmation that the pacifists have called for
emergency aid.

Zapp: Kif, what are you blabbering on about? Our bombing run was a complete

Kif: Actually sir, a few thousand of them has taken shelter in the
underground cave system beneath their capital.

Zapp: Kif! Such a minor nuisance like that is completely beneath a captain
of my stature, just send a few platoons down to the surface to flush them
out like undigested food from a babys bottom.

Kif: But sir…

Zapp: Are you questioning my order!?

Kif: *groan*

Zapp goes out through the bridge doors, leaving Kif with the suicide order
for the men.

Kif: *sigh* I guess Ill have to get to it before Zapp wants me to scrub
his bottom again.

CUT TO: Space

The PE ship silently continues its journey through the void of space,
everything seems very quiet.

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge. An hour later.

Leela still sits in her pilot seat, all alone on the bridge. She quietly
looks out at the stars with a faraway look in her eye.

Leelas mind: Fry? Can you hear me?

Her mental attempt to communicate with Fry still receives no response. When
concentrating further, a sleepy feeling overcomes her.

Leelas mind: He must still be asleep, I wonder how he does it. Falls
asleep in an instant even though his heart was full of sadness.

Leelas mind: He sought sleep to alleviate some of the pain of course you

Leelas mind: Maybe, but hell get over it. He always does.

Leelas mind: No, he hasnt even gotten over the first time yet.

Leelas mind: With the getting rid of the worms business you mean? Oh,
come on..

Leelas mind: Face it Leela, hes still as heartbroken as he was back then.

Leelas mind: That was his own fault!

Leelas mind: Really?

Leelas mind: Yeah, really!

Leelas mind: So, getting spooked by the fact that he got rid of the one
perfect man you thought you could ever love was his fault?

Leelas mind: I….

Leelas mind: Did it ever even occur to you that he might have actually
done it because he loved you?

Leelas mind: I…. dont know… I’m just so confused.

Leelas mind: Go, talk to him Leela. If you continue to push him away he
might actually one day get over you. Do you REALLY want that?

Leelas mind: Well… no.

Leelas mind: Then, talk to him, tell him how you feel. You already know
how he feels about you so its practically risk-free.

Leelas mind: ……..

Leela (determined): Ok, Ill do it. Ill tell him.

Bender: Who?

Leela was so surprised, she fell off the seat. Looking over she saw that
Bender had entered the bridge as she was having her mental debate.

Leela (gets up): Uh… Tell you Bender.

Bender: What?

Leela: That you can drive the ship while I go get some sleep.

Bender: Hey, youre the pilot. Im the drunken, but lovable, rascal that
steals your money when your not watching.

Leela: Well, Bender. Youre out of luck this time, as your captain I order
you to fly this ship all the way to Catastrophicon 5 until Ive gotten some

Bender: Urgh, fine! (He sips some more of his beer), I guess I could always
have another drinking competition with the autopilot.

Leela pretended she didnt hear him and left the bridge for Frys cabin.
After arriving and peeking through the door to spot a comatose Fry lying in
a pile of dirty laundry, snoring loudly, she decided to go with a different

Leelas mind: Hmm, maybe I could trigger that strange black dream again?

Said and done, Leela enter her own quarters and goes to bed. In but a few
minutes she is sound asleep and a familiar feeling comes over her….

CUT TO: Dream sequence, darkness.

Leela finds herself waking up to the total blackness she remembered from
the last dream she and Fry had. Getting up, she finds that Fry is nowhere
to be seen.


No reply.

Leelas mind: Hmm, maybe he is in his own dream right now?

As her mind spoke these words, the darkness begins to flicker.

The world around her morphs into a very familiar location. After a few
seconds she finds herself in her own living room, The image of Fry is
taking out the holophoner with her counterpart watching. The real Fry is
sitting in the couch, silently watching the scene with a longing in his

DreamLeela: A holophoner? But only a few people in the entire galaxy can
play that, and they arent even very good at it.

DreamFry: They dont have you to inspire them.

The image of Fry begins to play the holosequence from Parasites lost as
the image of Leela watches in amazement. The real Leela walks over to sit
in the couch with Fry.

Leela: Hi Fry.

Fry (not moving): Hi Leela….

Leela (looking as the hologram): I thought that it was the most beautiful
thing anyone has ever done to me.

Fry: ….I really tried to put as much emotion as I could into it… It was
so easy when I had the worms.

Leela turns silent and just watches the scene until the sequence finally
reaches its end. She continues to look on quietly as her counterpart brings
her beloved into the bedroom.

The two just remain in the couch, looking into thin air as the image of Fry
walks out of the bedroom with a depressed but determined look on his face.

Leela: This is when you made up your mind, when you decided to test me.

Fry: ….

The room begins the now familiar flickering and after a few seconds they
find themselves inside Frys bowel. The capital of the worms looms before
them. The dreamimage of Fry walks towards the capital and is stopped by the

DreamFry: Who controls this bowel?

Worms: Who wants to know?

The image points to the giant statue of the known universe and is
escorted into the throne room.

Leela, being intrigued by this turn of events follows DreamFry into the
throne room but the real Fry just sighs deeply and remains for awhile.

Inside the throne room, DreamFry is brought before the king.

Worm King: I am the lord mayor of cologne!

DreamFry: You mean column?

Worm King (annoyed): State your business!

DreamFry: Your Excellency, have you even been in love?

Leela watches as the two argue for awhile.

Leelas mind: He said he loves me…again…and again…but I… (her
thoughts interrupted by the kings final words)

Worm King: ….no-one can make me leave! (He pulls his sword)

Leela watches as the two fence around in the room and slowly work their way
towards the elevator, Leela gets in and follows them up to the brain room.
She observes the masses of worms tuning Frys brain capacity.

She silently watches as the two combatants struggle around inside the
chamber when the king gets assistance from some of his henchmen and Fry
begins to back off. She watches in amazement as Fry climbs up a nerve and
threatens to damage his own brain. When the king thinks hes bluffing, Fry
declares his love yet again and begins hacking away. As she watches
DreamFry chopping off thread after thread a tear begins to form in her eye.
Suddenly Fry hacks off a piece of the hand-eye-coordination lobe and
Leela gasps as he falls the ground a few seconds later.

As she watches the king surround DreamFry, the real Fry approaches her from

Fry (silently): This is the moment of reckoning. This was the moment it was
all decided….

DreamFry: I was just working my way towards the madula-ablon-gata, control
center of the heart and lungs. And if I kill myself, you die with me!

Worms: ahhh, noo, stop, wait a minute man!

DreamFry: I hope satan has a nice column, cuz thats where youre gonna be
living! (he prepares to strike).

Leela cannot believe her eye, the dream version of Fry is about to take his
own life…just because of her.

After some eyeing at eachother, DreamFry suddenly raises the sword as to
strike when…

Worm King: STOP!…. Well leave…

Leela cannot help but let out a small sigh, even though she knows that Fry
couldnt have killed himself since hes standing next to her.

Fry (silently): I cant bear to watch this anymore…

As he spoke these words, the world around them flickers once more and the
two find themselves in the abyssal darkness again. Fry then just sits down
and stares into the void. Leela just stands there, trying to absorb the
images she had just seen.

After a while she turns and walks towards Fry, seating herself down next to

Fry: No matter what I do, it always somehow turns out wrong…

Leela: ..thats not true, you saved my life by giving me your oxygen once.

Fry (sighs): But, even that wouldnt convince you to go out with me.

Leela: ….Cheer up Fry… I.. Im..

Fry (hopeful): Yes?

Leela: ..Uh.. sure youll find someone one day.

Fry (disappointed): Oh… yeah… thanks…

Fry gets up and walks away from her a bit.

Leela silently curses her own cowardice, then stands up and walk over to

Leela: Fry… there is something else I wanted to tell you.

Fry (he slowly turns his head towards her): What?

They both fall silent and share a look.

Their faces slowly begins to advance towards each other…and…their
images suddenly starts to flicker. (aww, nuts!)

Leela: We appear to be waking up.

Fry: ….

With just a silent look at each other, both their images flicker once more
and then disappear.

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, Leelas quarters.

Leela opens her eye to find herself back in her bed in the captains
quarters. She thinks back to the dream she dreamt with Fry and begins to
wonder why it ended so abruptly. Her thoughts are cut short when a massive
explosion outside rocks the ship and deafens her ears. She bolts out of the
bed, thankful she didnt bother to change clothes earlier and then dashes
out towards the bridge.

When she enters the bridge she finds Bender frantically trying to evade
incoming missiles to the best of his ability, though not to too much avail
since he was only designed for bending, not piloting.

Bender: Leela! Thank your god youre here. Now you can take over this
wretched junkheap so I can get some sleeping done.

Leela: Sleeping!? How the hell can you think about sleeping in a time like

Bender: Hey missy! I have stared out that window for 5 solid hours ever
since the autopilot broke down, that may not have much effect on humans but
I for one is bored out of my mind! Ah, screw this. (He leaves the pilot
seat and walks out from the bridge).

Leela, suddenly realizing that the ship is unpiloted, rushes towards the
pilot seat when the ship suffers another impact. The shock sends Leela
flying trough the air, crashing into the tactical console and she passes
out cold.

A moment later Fry enters the bridge and spots the empty pilot seat and
Leela lying on the floor, motionless.

Fry: NO! (He rushes over to Leela and examine her) Whew, shes only
fainted. (he then looks at the pilot seat) But whos gonna drive this thing

Frys mind: You.

Frys mind: Me?

Frys mind: Yes.

Fry (worried): Ah…ok… (He walks over and strap himself into the pilot

Computer: Warning! Missile lock!

Fry: Here goes nothing! (he pulls the wheel as hard as he can)

Outside the PE ship suddenly arcs its flight straight up, narrowly evading
the missile which crashes into a nearby asteroid field.

Fry: Whew….that was a close one…

Computer: Warning! Multiple missiles imbound! (The screen displays 6
incoming rockets)

Fry: AHH! I cant evade all of those! Were done for!!

CUT TO: Dream sequence, darkness.

Leela materializes in the dark abyss like she had done a few times by now,
but this time she did not want to stay for even a minute.

Leela (surprised): OH! Why am I here? *gasp* The attack, the hit, I..I..
mustve fainted.

Leela: Hmm, Fry isnt here. He mustve woken up too before. (Reality
strikes) Oh my god! Whos gonna pilot the ship now!?

Leela wanders frantically back and forth, cursing her own carelessness.

Leelas mind: I have to do something!

Leela pinches herself hard in the arm.

Leela: Oww…..

Leela looks around….nothing happened.

Leela: DAMN! I must be out cold!

Leela (mumbling): Think Leela, THINK! Youve gotta do SOMETHING except
talking to yourself!

Leela stops as she suddenly remembers something.

Leelas mind: Hey, I could actually feel Frys tiredness when I
concentrated on him. Maybe this works from in this state too?… Worth a

Leela sits down and thinks hard about Fry…..

Leelas mind: …………………………………………

Her face show signs of extreme effort.

Leela: Come on, come ON……..

Leelas mind: —…was a close one….—–…..hey… I think I’m getting
something here….

Leelas mind: ……………….!

Leela suddenly notices that a part of the black realm around her begins to

Leelas mind: …?….. I think I see something there…. (She concentrates
on Fry some more)

The flickering becomes more intense as something becomes visible through
the static. A few moments later Leela can see what is revealed.

Leela: This is… Frys vision!?

The flickering continues but Frys hands are clearly visible as they try to
manoeuvre the ship. Faint sounds can now also be heard.

Computer: Multi—-issles—-bound—.

Fry then looks at the incoming monitor which shows the 6 missiles

Leela: Oh my god! Fry could never evade all of those!

Leelas mind: Fry! FRY! Can you hear me! You must listen to me! PLEASE

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Fry has just declared himself and everybody else on the ship toast.

Fry: Oh, man! If only Leela were awake

Frys mind: —–Fry?—–FRY?—–

Fry (confused): Leela? (he looks at her body, its still not moving aside
from her breathing)

Computer: 2 minutes to impact.

Frys mind: Leela? Are you there?

Leelas mind: YES! Fry Im here!

Frys mind: Thank GOD! You gotta help me here Leela. I cant do this by

Leelas mind: I know, I can see through your eyes and…

Frys mind: You can? COOL!

Leelas mind: FRY! Theres no time for that! Now listen to me dammit!

Leelas mind: Fly the ship into the asteroid field Fry! Its our only

Frys mind: WHAT!? I cant get even evade 6 missiles. What do you think I
can do against thousand of flying rocks!?

Leelas mind: The difference is that the rocks arent chasing us, now fly
in there of well both be dead! Ill try to help you as best I can.

Frys mind: O-okay, youre the captain…

Computer: 1 minute to impact.

Fry makes a hard turn right into the asteroid field. As soon as the ship
enters the field, banging noises can be heard as various small rocks strike
the ships hull. Fry didnt like the idea at all, but it was either this or
a guaranteed impact of 6 hostile rockets.

Fry is doing his best trying to avoid the incoming boulders.


Fry (stressed): CRUD! Come on…come on…let those arcade game hours pay
off already!

Meanwhile Leela is really engaged in the action as well.

Leelas mind: You must go faster Fry! Those missiles are gaining on us!

Computer: 30 seconds to impact.

Frys mind: Im trying Leela!

Fry accelerates the ship even more.

The sounds of the impacting rocks grow into a crescendo as the ship gains
even more forward locomotion.

Leelas mind (stressed): This will never work! We are not going fast enough
nor avoiding enough asteroids. If I dont do something, I will never wake

Frys mind: Im trying Leela, I really am!

Leela suddenly instinctively press her hand forward as to increase the
speed even more and Fry looks in shock at his hand moving without him
telling it to. The ship gains even more momentum, the sounds from the rock
bombardment becomes deafening.

Frys mind: Leela!? How did you do that?

Leelas mind (realizing her chance): Fry, listen to me carefully! Do you
promise to do EXACTLY as I say?

Frys mind (quickly): Sure, ok! Just save us!

Leelas mind: The drop the controls and relax your body.

Frys mind: WHAT!? Are you outta your mind!?…wait…you are, arent you?

Leelas mind: JUST DO IT FRY!

Fry (opposing every instinct in his body) releases the wheel and leans back
in the seat. Suddenly he finds that his limbs are moving as though they had
a life of their own! His hand quickly grasps the throttle and gives the
ship even more speed, his foot is trampling the pedal like crazy. Both his
hands then grasp the wheel and Fry is in for the ride of his life.

CUT TO: Outside the PE ship, asteroid field

A severely dented PE ship blasts through the field knocking away rocks in
all directions. A short distance behind it a cluster of 6 missiles are
heading unerringly towards its target. One of the missiles have gained some
distance from the rest and is about to hit the engine when the ship
suddenly makes a hard turn right, making the missile crash into one of the
rocks that wasnt knocked away by the ship. The other rockets follow though
the new tunnel carved by the ship however. As a couple more of the rockets
break away from the pack the ship makes two sharp U turns causing two more
explosions among the floating rocks.

CUT TO: Previous shot

Fry (excited): Yeehaaw! Leela, you are the greatest!

Leelas mind: Were not out of the woods yet Fry…

Fry (smiling): Yeah, I know. I just wanted to say that.

Leelas mind: Oh, really?

Bender suddenly enters the bridge, holding a mop bucket.

Bender: Hey guys! I made you some drinks to celebrate our escape.

Fry: We havent escaped yet bender!

Bender (surprised): Say what?

They are interrupted as the ship hits another rock, a large one this time.
It causes a huge shake in the ship and bender loses his balance causing the
mop bucket to fall to the floor and splashing its contents in Leelas face.

Fry/Leelas mind: What the!? (Fry suddenly loses Leelas control)

The ship makes a spiral down and away from the asteroid field, and a large
explosion can be heard from behind the ship as Leela regains consciousness.

Leela: Ugh, (tastes the mop water) *PHFT* *Phooee* That stuff is

Bender: Of course its disgusting, youve spilled it all over the floor!

Leela: *groan*

Fry stops the ship, gets out of the seat and rushes to Leelas side.

Fry: Leela! Are you alright!?

Leela (getting up): Yeah, I’m fine…except my back hurts pretty badly.

Fry (relieved): I’m so glad youre alright, Leela. (he hugs her)

Leela: Oh…. (she smiles, and put her arms around him as well).

Frys mind: I still have some of that massage oil left.

Leelas mind: Fry!

Bender: Bah, pathetic human emotions. What about the drink I made yo-


A violent explosion to the port bow suddenly interrupts him as the ship
rocks violently and is pushed into a stray boulder.

*CRASH* More shaking causes our two friends to lose their footing and fall
to the floor.

Leela: What was that!? Oh… (She notices she is lying on top of Fry (yes
in THAT position ;)) and he is just looking up at her face with a childish

Leela cannot help but smile back at him.

Bender: *Cough* Ahem…

They both look up to see Bender looking down at them

Bender: Get a room if youre gonna do that!

CUT TO: The black ship, dark office.

A dark desk is visible at one edge of the screen, the dark silhouette of a
man can be seen standing next to it.

Authority type voice (OS): Who is responsible for this downright defiance
of my orders!?

Shadowy underling type guy 2: Im afraid I am sir.

Authority type voice (OS): You? But why?

Shadowy underling type guy 2: I saw an opportunity and I took the

Authority type voice (OS): How do you know what action we shall take, eh? I
need that ship intact!

Shadowy underling type guy 2: But why sir? We are sent to hunt them down,

Authority type voice (OS): That is not for me to know and you to tell
me….err… I mean… Thats not for you to know!

Shadowy underling type guy 2: I understand sir. It wont happen again.

Authority type voice (OS): It better not, now start looking to find out
where they fled!

Shadowy underling type guy 2: Yes sir! (He walks out)

Authority type voice (OS, shouting after him): Number 2!!…*sigh* He
forgot the dang lights again….

CUT TO: inside the PE ship, dark matter engine room.

Leela is inspecting some loose wiring and sparking electrical components
and Fry is looking around.

Leela (looking inside some maintenance case): Well, it looks like one of
the missiles escaped the asteroid field and busted up our afterburner. I
can rig this panel to get the engines back on-line, but well have to
settle for half cruising speed until we can get Amy or the professor on

Fry: Great. And I though it would take long even before this happened.

Leela: We still have to complete the delivery, and if my calculations are
correct we should be arriving there…. 30 minutes ago. Eh?… Bender!

Bender (looks in through the doorway): What?

Leela: You did measure those radiation levels I asked you about didnt you?

Bender: Of course not, I just wrote down some numbers I found on Frys
lightspeed briefs.

Fry: Hey! You were rummaging through my underwear? You are one sick robot.

Bender: Dont get any ideas skintube. I was making room for my magazine

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Leela is standing by the navigation console, Fry is right beside her.

Leela: According to this starchart, we still have 2 hours worth of travel
time to go before we reach Catastrophicon 5. We should get going right

Frys mind (seductively): You know… there are plenty of things you can do
in 2 hours…

Leela: *sigh*

Fry (faking innocence): What? I didnt say anything.

Leela (actually looking mildly amused): No, but you were thinking it and
thats bad enough.

Leela gets into the pilot seat and the ship flies on.

CUT TO: The Nimbus, bridge. Ca 2 hours later.

Zapp is sitting in the captains chair, talking to Kif.

Kif: Here is the post-mission report for the troop assault sir. (he hold
out a clipboard to Zapp)

Zapp: mmh, aha, mhm, ah yes, aha.

Kif: *sigh* just take it sir (Kif still holds out the clipboard)

Zapp: Dont order me around! I’m the captain on this vessel and I alone
shall bear the terrible burden of telling you academy rejects what to do.

Zapp takes the clipboard and begins to read… He looks puzzled.

Zapp: Kif! Why is there no enemy casualties?

Kif: The platoons mutated and scattered once they breathed the polluted
atmosphere sir.

Zapp: Thats a pitiful excuse if I ever heard one! And believe me, I know
them all.

Kif: *groan*

Zapp: Kif! Order a second strike team to prepare for deployment

Kif: But sir…

Zapp: Kiiif! Object to my order again and Ill throw you in the brig, now
bring my masterful plan into work.

Kif: *sigh*

A moment passes.

Zapp: Kif? Why arent you performing your duties?

Kif: There is another thing sir.

Zapp: Weeell, dont just stand there like some starving Indian child, tell

Kif: We have picked up the Planet Express delivery ship en-route to the

Zapp: Planet Express? Ah, the fair lady Leela is returning to her rightful
place in my bed once again. Its hardly surprising (picks up a pocket
mirror and looks into it while stroking his hair). Mmm, yes…

Kif: *groan*

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

The ship is approaching the Catastrophicon system, Leela is still at the
helm. Fry is sitting at tactical with his feet on the console looking at
Leela. When she occasionally turns her head to look herself, Fry simply
turns away and pretends hes looking at something else.

Leela: Ok, we should see the planet coming into view soon. (A drop-down
videophone comes down from the ceiling).

Leela (picking up the phone): Yes, this is the Planet Express ship.

The screen just displays static but a dark, strange voice can be heard in
the phone.

Weird distorted voice: Planet Express eh? You are LATE!

Leela: Sorry, we ran into some trouble.

Weird distorted voice: No matter, bring the supplies to these co-ordinates
(A set of numbers appear on the vid-screen).

Leela: Ok, Well be there soon.

Weird distorted voice: Oki….uhh… you dont have any mints with you, do
ya? (sound of a slap) *ouch*…uh, on second thought, forget it…

The call ends and the vid-phone returns to its invisible position in the
roof as the planet comes into view.

Fry gets up and walks up to Leelas side. Unfortunately, the first thing
that comes into view is not the planet but the Nimbus.

Leela: What? The Nimbus shouldnt be here now, it shouldve turned back
home hours ago.

Fry: Maybe Zapp knew you were coming and stayed to meet you?

Leela: Would hardly be surprising, although I personally think he mustve
screwed up the attack or something since he didnt know that we were
supposed to come here.

Leela: Lets just try and avoid his ship completely for once.

CUT TO: Outside the PE ship, near Catastrophicon 5.

The PE ship makes a run for it and blasts quickly off towards the planet.
Zapp, not being prepared for it, didnt have time to order a tractor beam
to capture them, and so our crew is safe….for now.

CUT TO: PE ship setting down on the surface of Catastrophicon 5.

The PE ship sets down in a clearing of a dead, polluted forest next to a
large volcano. The crew stays inside the ship for now.

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Leela gets up from her pilot seat and looks over some gauges.

Leela: Well, it looks like the atmosphere is highly poisonous and is
contaminated with some strange radiation. Normal environment suits wont
help much…

Fry: Then well just let Bender do it.

Leela: Good idea, he hasnt done anything useful on this trip yet. I might
as well tell him right away.

Frys mind (seductively): And while hes away….

Leelas mind: *groan*

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, cargo bay.

Bender is asleep on one of the crates, mumbling something about killing all

Leela walks in.

Leela: Bender?

Bender: Zzzzzz…

Leela: Bender!!

Bender (turns up the volume): ZZZZZZZ….

Leela: *sigh* (She walks up to the winch controls)

Leela moves the magnetic crane pad into position and activates it. Bender
immediately lifts from his perch and connects to the pad with a metallic

Bender: What the!? Oh oh! (he starts to sing) oh say can you SEE, how a
robot like MEE….

Leela looks on in amusement for awhile and then manoeuvres the crane to an
open spot and deactivates the magnet. Bender falls flat to the floor with a
loud *Clang*!

Bender: *pant* How DARE you treat me like that!? Ive got half a mind to
shove this magnet up your ass right now!

Leela: Well thats tough, cause I got a job for you, delivering these 3
crates into the nearby cave system.

Bender: Delivery? Thats Frys job, I’m not doing that!

Leela: Fry cant enter this planets atmosphere without mutating into
something hideous.

Bender: Then you go. Youre already mutated into something hideous, it
wont affect you.

Leela: *groan* Maybe so, but I still cannot resist the high radiation and
YOU probably can!

Bender: You know whats wrong with you humans? Youre all so weak. I bet us
robots could probably do anything you humans can, and a lot better too.

Leela: Then prove it.

Bender (grumbling): *mumble* *mumble* (he gets up and moves a crate to the
cargo lift).

Bender: Get outta here and let the competent handle this, meatbag.

Leela leaves through the door, heading back towards the bridge. Fry is
sitting in the pilot seat humming something.

Leela: Bender will do it.

Fry (turning his head towards Leela): Wow, you actually talked him into it?

Leela: It was ALL about boosting his already soaring ego (points at the
communication console). Lets see how it goes.

On the monitor we see Bender hauling all the crates into position on the
cargo lift and proceed to lower them and himself down to the surface. A
brown smoke begins to flow into the open cargo bay.

Leela: Hmm, better vent that away (She pushes a switch).

As the cargo lift closes the sound of a vacuum cleaner can be heard and the
smoke clears.

Leela: There we go, lets watch Benders progress. (she presses another

The monitor flickers for a moment and then shows the underside of the PE
ship with the three crates standing on the ground, but Bender is nowhere to
be seen.

Leela: Thats odd, wheres Bender?

Fry: Maybe he went to the bathroom?

Leela gives him an annoyed look.

Fry: Uh…right…robot…

Leela: Seriously though, where is he?

A banging sound can be heard from the side airlock doors, Fry moves over to
open it and in steps a frightened looking Bender.

Bender (terrified): Fry! Its Terrible! Ive lost my pulse! I… I… I
think I’m dead!

Fry: Youre a robot, you dont have a pulse.

Bender: Robot? Whats that? *gasp* Are you telling me I’m…. mutating!?

Fry: You cant mutate Bender, youre a robot…..hey…where have I heard
this before…?

Bender suddenly drops to the floor and shakes his head.

Bender: Uhh…. Fry? Where am I? What happened?

Fry: You came in and said you died.

Bender (disbelief): What? I cant die, I’m a robot! Only you weak organisms
can die!

Leela (standing in the doorway): You dont remember anything on what

Bender: Well, I was planning to spend Frys money on a new beer keg as I
was unloading the crates…..then…. I was here… (he look around

Leela: Hmm, I wonder what kind of radiation this really is…. The
professor said they were using stuperfaction mutagen, perhaps this is
what it does?

Fry: Hey yeah! Like the time I saved the entire world from a bunch of giant
superbrains! They were also using some kinda stupid ray thingies.

Leela: You did no such thing! You just made that up to try and convince
Hermes to begin paying you again.

Fry: But I did do it Leela! I swear! Look, I even kept the book I wrote to
stop them! (Takes out a college-notepad)

Leela: Let me see that (She takes it)…hmm… …and then for no raisin,
he left the earth forever..?

Fry: I never was good at spelling… but he got the picture.

Leela: Fry! This story stinks as bad as your 2 week old underwear. Theres
no way giant brains couldve invaded earth without the rest of us knowing.

Fry: I tried to tell you all about it but none of you seemed to remember
it, I was the only one who did.

Leela: And why would that be?

Fry: Because….uh… actually I still havent figured out that part

Leela: *groan*

A long pause ensues.

Leela (Looks at Fry, he seems determined): Well, we are kinda running out
of options here so Ill guess that it wouldnt hurt to at least check.

Fry: Thanks.

Leela: Go to the cargo bay Fry, Ill go to the bridge to prepare a test.

Fry (happy): Okay.

Bender (watching Fry leave through the back door, then turning to Leela):
Youre gonna get him killed…

Leela: I sure hope not…

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Leela is watching Fry through a security monitor.

Leelas mind: Well, I’m all set here Fry. Are you ready?

Frys mind: Yup… and Leela?

Leelas mind: mm?

Frys mind: Thanks… for trusting me.

Leelas mind: Well see…

Leela (pushing various buttons): Releasing the external radiation shields
around the cargo bay… sealing doors…

Inside the cargo bay the doors are blocked by bars and small sparks of
electricity fly from various points on the walls.

Fry can feel it getting a bit colder but other than that, nothing.

Fry (whistling a little): Dum di dum…

Leela (through the speaker system): Fry? Do you feel anything?

Fry: Nope, not a thing…

Leela looks at the radiation counter, it shows that the room is completely

Leela (mildly puzzled, through the speaker system again): You sure about

Fry: Gee, I said I’m fine Leela. Now do you trust me?

Leela (scratching her head): I… I guess so…

Fry: Good, then let me outta here, its getting cold.

Leela activates the containment fields and unseals the cargo bay. Fry walks
out from the monitor picture, and arrives at the bridge a minute later.

Leela (looking very puzzled): Well, that certainly was… strange… why…
how is this possible!?

Fry: I dunno, maybe I’m just too clever to be affected by it?

Leelas mind: …or too stupid.

Frys mind: Hey! I heard that!

Leelas mind: Sorry.

Bender:…. Youre acting strange again, what IS it with you two?

They just look at him strangely.

Bender (resigning): Urgh, forget it.

Leela (turning towards Fry): Well, this is all right and good but youll
still mutate if you go out there.

Fry: Yeah, I wish I was a mutant like you. Then this wouldve been no
problem and _we_ might have actually… (Fry sees Leela giving him an
annoyed look) uh… forget it.

Bender: Hes got a point Leela, lets toss him out the airlock! (Bender
grabs Frys arm).

Fry: Hey! Knock it off Bender!

Leela: Quit it, both of you! Its too late now anyways, well solve this
tomorrow. (Leela leaves the bridge).

Bender (letting go): Aw, you always spoil the fun part.

CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, captains quarters.

Leela is lies in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

Leelas mind: Fry?

No response.

Leelas mind: He must already be asleep.

She just silently lies there for a while, then after a few minutes she
closes her eye and falls asleep as well.

CUT TO: Dream sequence, darkness.

The image of Leela materializes in the now very familiar dark abyss she had
visited many times by now. Fry is already standing there, waiting for her.

Fry: Hi Leela, I figured youd come here sooner or later.

Leela: Its not like I have a choice.

Fry: Well, that depends… Ive noticed that if you try to sleep in here
you actually dont dream and wake up normally.

Leela: Hmm? Ill have to try that.

They just stand there for awhile in awkward silence, Fry suddenly speaks.

Fry: You know… Ive waited for you to come.

Leela: Why?

Fry: Because….there is something I want to show you…. although it hurts
just by thinking about it.

Leela: What is it?

Fry: A memory…. something I really wanted you to see. Unfortunately, you
couldnt have known. If you had, then everything might have had turned out
differently. I felt horrible after it all.

Leela (softly): Fry… you dont have to.

Fry: Its ok Leela. Im alright, I just have to show it to you or you might
never find out.

Fry turns silent as if hes thinking about something. The world around them
flickers violently for a few seconds and afterwards they both find
themselves standing… in a church.

The whole PE gang is there: Hermes and his wife LaBarbera, Zoidberg,
Professor Farnsworth and his clone Cubert, Amy, Bender and of course Fry
and Leela standing at the altar when the robot preacher speaks his final

RobotPriest: …husband and wife! You may kiss the bride.

Crowd: Yeeehaaay. Woohoo!

Fry: I suddenly found ourselves standing there after a timeslip, I thought
it was the happiest 10 seconds of my life.

Leela: ……

Dream Leela: FRY! You tricked me!…

Fry makes a face of pain as he hears Dream Leela speak those words. Leela
looks sad.

Fry: And then came the only possible outcome I suppose…

The world around them flashes to a different location, a courtroom.

Dream Fry and Dream Leela stands in front of the judge behind his desk.

Judge: …divorce final! (he strikes his hammer) *bang*

Real Fry: It came as an equally big shock to me as the wedding, but this
one hurt really bad. The mere thought of the fact that you believed that I
tricked you into marrying me cut like a knife though my heart…

Fry: …sure. Break my heart again why dont you!?

Real Leela: *sigh* I know it mustve been hard for you, but I kinda
panicked at the time and since I do not know how you did it, I still think
it was the right decision.

Fry: The worst part is yet to come Leela… this is the very thing that
haunts me at night…

The world around them flickers a bit and then turns into…. the bridge of
the PE ship.

Leela: This is when we detonated that doomsday device to clear out the

Fry: Almost… (fry closes his eyes)….*sigh* I dont really want to see
this again… It hurts so bad….

Leela (Putting her hand on his shoulder): Then dont Fry… You can stop
this right now…

Fry (sad): No… I must do this…

Dream Fry and Dream Leela is standing next to the windshield.

Dream Fry: Look Leela, I dont think I tricked you into marrying me, but…
maybe I did. And if so, I’m sorry.

Dream Leela: Its ok Fry. You know well always be friends, right?

Dream Fry: Yeah, but I dont guess anything can could do would make you
feel the same way about me that I do about you.

Dream Leela: I guess not…

Dream Leela gives Dream Fry a small kiss on the cheek.

Dream Bender (walking in through the door): Well, the doomsday device is
ready. Maybe blasting this quadrant of space into a flaming hell storm of
nothingness will cheer me up a little.

Dream Leela: Ok. Let me just take the ship out to a safe distance…

Dream Leela spots Dream Fry standing there in total misery.

Dream Leela: …actually. I think Ill go down and prep the detonator. Fry,
why dont you take the helm?

Dream Fry looks up and smiles a little. He walks over to the pilot seat.

Dream Fry: Shes so great. I feel like I can almost remember the magical
thing I did to make her love me, but I guess I never will.

Dream Bender: Sorry buddy. I too know what its like to have a dream Ill
never achieve.

Dream Fry pilots the ship away from the cluster of stars, the ships engines
roar as the stars grow smaller.

Dream Fry (looks to his left and spots something): Ooooooooooh!

The stars fading in the distance begins to form words as the ship moves
away. They say… I LOVE YOU LEELA.

The real Leela standing next to a pained Fry looks at the gargantuan
achievement. A tear begins to form in her eye…

Dream Fry: Thats how I mustve done it! I moved the stars themselves to
write her a love note in the sky!

The ship intercom interrupts him.

Dream Leela (over the intercom): Detonation in three, two, one…


Dream Frys screaming sent the real Fry to his knees covering his ears and
his eyes are tear-shot from the horror of the memory. Leela just stares in
disbelief, a few tears running from her eye as well…

Dream Leela and Bender walks in.

Dream Fry: Did you see it!? Did you see it!?

Dream Bender: What? The explosion?

Dream Fry: NO! Not the explosion.

Dream Leela: Then what?

Dream Fry (after a short pause): ….nothing….

The real Fry lets go of his concentration and the world around flickers for
a second and then returns to the darkness from before.

Fry is standing with his back towards Leela and his head down. Leela is
once again stumped by the chain of events that had just played out before
her. She wonders for a split second if Fry couldve faked it, but is soon
proved wrong when she looks around to see the broken image of Fry sobbing
silently just a few meters away from her.

She walks up to him.

Leela (puts her hand on his shoulder, she speaks softly): Fry… I… I
never knew…

Fry (quietly with sorrow in his voice): Well… now you do… (he carefully
walks away from her a bit)

After a very long pause Fry speaks again.

Fry (his back still towards Leela): This is it Leela, Ive shown you
everything Ive ever felt about you, but never told you about.

Another pause, although shorter.

Fry (closes his eyes): No more secrets.

Fade to black

—to be continued— when I feel like it ) — evil smile

So, whaddaya think? Did you like it? You want me to continue?

This is the very first fanfiction I’ve ever written so I’m quite eager to
hear what people think about it.

I realize its a bit long (over 12000 words i think) but I got a serious
thing going and couldn’t stop myself :).

Send praise, comments, suggestions and constructive criticism to

Send flames, abusive complaints and random crap to NUL

/Lennie Asserholt

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