Futurama Pornography Story: Benders List Chapter 20

As
the minion reached for his communication console, a red beam struck
the back of his head. He screamed briefly, fell limply over the
console, and died. Startled by this occurrence, Balalaika and
Krandok whipped out their cutlasses and looked suspiciously in all
directions. Krandok, noticing a movement at the entryway, snatched a
dagger from his belt and tossed it forcefully. Delta let go of her
pistol, stretched out her arm, caught the spinning blade, flipped it
around by the handle, and threw it even more forcefully toward
Krandok. The point of the dagger hit him squarely in the throat,
knocking him backwards in what would be the last fall of his life.

Leela,
Delta, and Foss emerged from their hiding place, laser pistols drawn.
Balalaika and Zapp, finding themselves outnumbered, dropped their
swords and put their hands in the air.

Leela
grinned at her fembot comrade. That was pretty good, Delta. But
did you really need to kill Krandok? He was an excellent original
character.

Balalaika
scowled at his chief scientist. I knew youd betray me
someday, he said without a trace of pirate accent.

Oh,
really? said Foss. You never gave any indication that you
suspected me.

While
he and Delta bound the pirate captains wrists with rope, Leela
tried to reason with the sullen Zapp. Youve been manipulated,
she said earnestly. Balalaika used the Fossitron device to make
you think like he does.

The
anger faded from Zapps countenance. Yes, youre right, he
said, his hands still raised. Like a fool I kept killing him and
killing him. After about the one hundredth time, I realized that I
enjoyed killing him. Thats when he started fighting back.
Since I couldnt kill him anymore, I started to kill with
him.

I
understand, Zapp, said Leela, slowly lowering her laser gun.
Thats how the Fossitron works. Its like a form of mental
rape. It allowed Balalaika to get into your mind and leave a piece
of himself there.

Leela,
weve got a problem, Foss interrupted.

The
cyclops turned her eye to the pirate ships view screen, and
gasped. Out from the swirl of raiders and DOOP warships exchanging
fire came the Nimbus, barreling toward their position, growing ever
larger

Oh,
my God! cried Leela. Theyll blow us to bits!

Taking
advantage of her distraction, Zapp launched his foot upward, knocking
the laser pistol from her hand. The weapon spiraled in the air and
landed in his waiting palm. His opponent disarmed, he lunged forward
and wrapped his arm around her neck in a vise-like grip, then pressed
the business end of the laser gun against her temple.

Let
Balalaika go or Ill kill her! he barked at Foss and Delta.

The
fembot and the scientist stood rooted to the spot by indecision and
fear.

Ill
kill her, I swear! said Captain Brannigan, his eyes glowing with
malice.

Fight
it, Zapp! Leela choked out.

The
view screen image showed the Nimbus slowing to a halt. Suddenly,
with a crackle, the face of Kif Kroker appeared. Resistance is
futile, he declared. Power down your weapons and prepare to be
boarded.

Kif
beheld a strange tableauCaptain Balalaika held prisoner by Delta
and Foss on one end of the pirate bridge, Leela held hostage by Zapp
on the other end. For what seemed like an entire minute, not one of
them knew what to do or say.

Zapps
lower lip began to quiver. Leela could hear him mutter under his
breath, Ima monster

Then
he pulled the laser pistol away from her head

and
aimed it at his own.

NO!
cried Leela. She strained to turn around, but Zapps grip on her
neck was too strong.

Just
as he squeezed the trigger, a robotic hand flew at him. Deltas
stretched-out arm pushed the laser pistol to a safe distance, so that
its beam crashed harmlessly into a girder.

Ill
treat her well, sir, said Captain Kroker.

Ill
lead you to the pirates hidden base, Foss offered. You can
incapacitate them with one blow.

Thats
generous of you, said Kif.

I
have a question, said the young professor. How did you know
Captain Brannigan was aboard our raider?

Kif
grinned. I have Varuna to thank for that. Shes a member of my
planets psychic caste.

He
introduced Foss to the green-skinned, white-haired woman. Its,
er, nice to meet you, he greeted her.

I
sense that you dont believe in my powers, said Varuna.

Oh,
really, said Foss. Can you sense what number Im thinking
of?

Silly
boy, said Varuna with a slight cackle. It doesnt work that
way.

As
the Nimbus and its sister starships sought out the coordinates Foss
had provided, Leela and Delta relaxed in the massive vessels
lounge. Leela, stripped down to a bikini, and Delta, completely
naked as usual, soaked in the rays from the solar generator mounted
in the ceiling.

Im
sorry I doubted you, Delta, said Leela. For a Stepford
wife-bot, you have a lot of talent.

Thank
you, Captain Leela, said Delta. Although I have no need of
positive reinforcement, I do appreciate it when its given.